The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been crot haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for bokep caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, bokep she rolled her eyes and memek declared the woman an ‘actrice’, memek or crot sex worker.

Now, bokeh according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, memek it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women memek know and crot all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, porn the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. bokeh In other words, crot you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: crot there’s sex as performance art, crot and crot sex as genuine intimacy. bokep And bokeh when a woman is crot genuinely aroused, bokep trusts her partner and porn is not fearing for porn a fragile male ego, bokep she’s far more likely to gently sigh and crot moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, memek female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, bokep they’d explain, crot so they could make their partner feel happy, porn while bokeh conserving their energy for memek other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about memek manners and memek ‘manipulation’, crot and bokep that women were prone to memek what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, porn so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokeh the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: porn ‘I’m enjoying this, crot but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, porn ladies?

bokep The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena memek is if your sex education comes from porn, bokep where loud always equals better.

As a woman bokeh from Sunderland porn said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: bokep ‘As far as I’m concerned, crot that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, crot only if you want to attract bokep a memek certain kind of attention.

In their book, crot Sex At Dawn, memek Christopher Ryan and bokep Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and bokep keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, porn I can understand bokep the need to advertise. But if you’re not, crot then men should take heed: bokep the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris