The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for porn caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, memek memek she rolled her eyes and memek declared the woman an ‘actrice’, memek or porn sex worker.

Now, porn according to this new study from porn the ever-liberal bokeh Swedes, bokeh it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and memek all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, porn the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, bokep you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: bokeh there’s sex as performance art, memek and bokeh sex as genuine intimacy. And crot when a woman is genuinely aroused, bokeh trusts her bokep partner and bokeh is not fearing for memek a fragile male ego, crot she’s far more likely to gently sigh and porn moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, bokep female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, memek they’d explain, porn so they could memek make their partner feel happy, crot while conserving their energy for crot crot other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of memek another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and crot ‘manipulation’, porn and porn that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, crot so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, porn the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: bokeh ‘I’m enjoying this, porn but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, bokep ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex memek education comes from porn, porn where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland porn said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: bokeh ‘As far as I’m concerned, bokeh that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, memek only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, bokeh Sex At Dawn, bokep Christopher Ryan and memek Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and crot keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokeh I can understand bokep the need to advertise. But if you’re not, crot then men should take heed: memek the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris